The C Word

I am a blubbering mess. I have just finished watching the BBC drama The C Word and what a powerful piece of television it was. Programme making like that, everything by the wonderful David Attenborough and the existance of BBC6Music make the licence fee worthwhile.

Hubby often asks me why I watch things that will make me upset – knowing fine well that I well up at the Macmillan Cancer adverts on TV – but sometimes I think its good to get a good release of emotions, box of tissues at the ready. Remembering those low points that were pretty tough in my life – triggered by watching anything about cancer – give the good times so much more value and appreciation of everything so much stronger. It brings with it a clarity. You get caught up in the gerbil wheel of life, the run of the mill, the day to day – it is good to take time out and reflect, be thankful and tell those who have played a part in your life’s tapestry that they have been a positive part of your journey. Let those who haven’t been so positive fall by the wayside.

Cancer has played a large looming part in my life for the early part of my 20s and watching The C Word brought back many memories of my dad’s illness. Actress Sheridan Smith was fantastic and some very dramatic and emotive acting from all those involved to portray the roller-coaster of the cancer diagnosis and illness. Watching Lisa’s dad break down holding her after she lost her hair made me weep. I remember my own dad starting to lose his hair and him appearing back from the hospital one day with a wig in a box (the “rat in the box”) which then lay unused and was later returned after his death.

Being a mum I couldn’t bear the thought of having to face going through that with one of my own children after losing my dad to this horrible disease. The scene also made me think of my own Gran and how I held her as she wailed “it should have been me, I am meant to go first” , sobbing, after my dad died aged 52. No parent wants to watch their child suffer like that.

But what an amazing legacy Lisa Lynch has left behind – a wonderul blog of honest writing and a fantastic book for those suffering from cancer. Thoughts go to all those experiencing this horrible fucking disease and hope you beat it. Miss you dad x


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